This Weekend…

What’s up, beautiful people?! It’s been more than a minute since I actually wrote something, rather than posting random videos. I’ve missed y’all!

I’ve been on kind of a total self-care journey. It’s been challenging, to say the least. I’m the sort of person who likes to believe that I’m superhuman. You know, that basic things like proper nutrition, rest and taking time for myself, are optional. It took a series of health issues to make me come to the realization that I’m far from a super hero. I’ve retired my cape and put on my glasses. Which is why I can finally clearly see that I’ve got to take care of me, because no one else is in line for the job. And that’s ok. In fact, it’s more than just ok. It’s a privilege I’ve been given by virtue of simply being alive and grown!

With that privilege comes choices. The choice to do things that feed my mind, body, spirit and soul.  I invite you all to do the same and to that effect, here’s a list of things you can do this weekend to remind yourself that YOU MATTER. I hope you find something that resonates with you and decide to gift yourself with it. You deserve it!


Do you, Boo:

  • Pick flowers in your backyard and display them around your home.
  • Buy a bouquet of flowers and put them on your nightstand. They’ll be the first thing you see when you wake up!
  • Binge watch your favorite T.V. series or find a new one to fall in love with.
  • Go for a walk that’s purely for pleasure.
  • Paint your toenails an obnoxious color.
  • Create a spa in your bathroom. Spend the evening soaking in a tub and reading a book by candlelight.
  • Sleep in without guilt.
  • Send your kids to a family member or friends’s house and do whatever you want this weekend.
  • Go to a matinee with a friend or by yourself!
  • Light a scented candle a do a breathing mediation.
  • Go get a pedicure or massage.
  • Experiment with a new recipe you’ve been wanting to try.
  • Invite friends of family over for game night.
  • Eat something decadent without feeling guilty.
  • Make it a Staycation weekend and explore your city/town.
  • Go for a scenic drive/bus ride and allow your mind to wander.
  • Go for a nature walk at your nearest national park.
  • Sit outside and look at the Sunset or count stars.
  • Read your daily devotional outdoors and take time afterwards to reflect on it while sitting in the sun.
  • Make a picnic and take it to the park.
  • Participate in a group sport or exercise class.
  • Find a yoga practice online and try it out.
  • Go to bed early.
  • Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while and talk for hours.
  • Get your hair done.
  • Try a new hobby you’ve been putting off.
  • Go to a fancy restaurant and only order dessert.
  • Blow bubbles.
  • Spend some time talking to a five year old. They know everything.
  • Write a letter to your younger self. Then write one to your future self. Pick any ages.
  • Write a letter to a loved one who has passed on.
  • Allow yourself to have a good hard cry if you feel like it.
  • Allow yourself to laugh ’til it hurts if you feel like it.
  • Allow yourself time to dream.
  • Allow yourself time to plan for those dreams and convert them to goals.
  • Play in your own make-up.
  • Snuggle up with someone you love and watch a tearjerker or rom-com.
  • Read a book cover to cover in one sitting ( and don’t dare think about the laundry, dishes, etc)
  • Organize something, if that floats your boat.
  • Tell someone you love them.
  • Make a list of your best qualities and refer to it every time you feel like you’re not good enough.
  • Write an affirmation to yourself in lipstick on your bathroom mirror. ( Don’t worry, it wipes right off!)
  • Dance like everyone’s watching and you got all the moves, even if you don’t.
  • Sing at the top of your lungs.
  • Lay on your couch and just listen to music.
  • Put your phone on silent and take a much needed break.

This list could go on and on, but you guys get the picture. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, or even any money, to take time for yourself. Remember, if your tank is empty you don’t have anything to give. Now, I’m off to binge watch Parenthood. I’m on a mission to find out if there’s a single episode where nobody cries. I’m halfway through season 2 and it hasn’t happened yet. See y’all next time!

What’s your favorite self-care act? Tell us about it in the comments below!

 

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Committed to Love

You probably read the title of this and thought, “Oh, she’s going to regale us with tales of romance.” Or, “She’s going to rhapsodize about choosing love for others over all else.” Oh, you weren’t thinking that? I’m the only one who uses words like regale and rhapsodize on the regular? It’s cool. I’m at peace with my nerdiness.

Anyway, I do want to talk about love, but not totally in the traditional sense or expected way. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of love and commitment. What does it look like? Can you have one without the other? And which one comes first?

Concrete answers elude me, but what I’ve managed to figure out is that the two go hand in hand. I can’t think of a single instance of love that doesn’t involve commitment and vice versa. The love a parent has for a child is cemented by the parent’s commitment to care and provide for the child. Later in life, hopefully the chEveryday-Self-Love-Imageild does the same for the parent. Two people choose to do life together and perform a ceremony before friends and family, sign legal documents and share a mutual last name to celebrate their love by showing commitment. My faith dictates that God so loved me that He gave His only begotten Son for my sins. He’s so committed to me that He made the ultimate sacrifice.

All of these observations have led me to a revelation  of sorts: If I love myself, why aren’t I committed to doing what I know is good for me? Or is it that I have to commit to doing what’s good for me as an action of love? Isn’t love in its simplest form merely a series of choices made over and over again? A choice to do what’s best for the one you love?

This whole summation may seem basic enough, but the truth of it all settled into me slowly, like rays of sun on a Spring day. The coldness of neglect, putting me last, not acknowledging my worth, were absorbed by the warmth of this knowledge. I’m worth committing to. I’m worth choosing. I’m worth the action of better choices each day.

What does this mean practically? It means going to bed at a decent hour, despite how much is left on my to-do list. It means going to Zumba class twice a week because I love shaking my rump-shaker. It means taking a walk even when I don’t feel like it, because it’s what’s best for me. It means taking time to cook delicious nutritious food. It means watching a movie and letting myself get swept away in the fantasy, because I need a mental break every once in a while as much as the next person.

I don’t know where we learned the lesson that self-care is optionaSelf lovel. And it seems like women are determined to ace this unnecessary class, for whatever asinine reason. But whatever is erroneously learned can be re-taught in a more enlightened and compassionate way. I’m learning to love me more and more. It’s manifesting itself by my commitment to treating myself well. I’m really starting to think that’s way it’s supposed to be.

If you’re already on your own journey of self-care, I commend you. On the other hand, if you’ve allowed yourself to fall by the wayside in a misguided belief that you’re supposed to be last on your list, I implore you to start with one small act of kindness for yourself. Don’t allow anything to distract you from it. Make a pledge to yourself not to neglect it. Once you see that the world keeps right on turning, add another act of kindness, and another one. Commit to it. You deserve it. You’re worth it.

Have you ever fallen into the trap of neglecting yourself?  How do you deal with unwarranted guilt when you take time to do things that only benefit you? In what ways do you regularly commit to showing yourself love through action?