Making the decision to forgive can be tricky. It’s like choosing the smallest box at Christmas. Forgiveness won’t make sense to
the immature and it seems unappealing; maybe even irrational. But to the mature mindset, the old saying that some of the best gifts come in small packages plays like a catchy song. The smallest package becomes appealing, even desirable. And when you open it, the blessing inside is more than you hoped for or could ever imagine. That’s how I view forgiveness.
I won’t pretend that I’ve always had this lofty view of such a humble state of being. I used to be the type that could hold a grudge until it hollered. I kept record of every wrong and hoped that I would have a front row seat when the Lord exacted His revenge.
Then I became a person in need of forgiveness and everything changed. I guess I should clarify that. I became a person aware of my overwhelming need for forgiveness and everything changed. On my best day, I’m in need of God’s forgiveness. On my own I can never measure up. Walking into the fullness of this realization changed me. Then it changed the way I relate to other people. People who are walking out this life to the best of their ability. People who are flawed, just like me. People to whom grace exemplified may be the only glimpse of God they ever see.
A part of me always thought that to extend forgiveness was a sign of weakness. I assumed that people would view me as a doormat and take advantage of me. But a funny thing happened when I opened myself up to grace: people surprised me by rising to the occasion. Showing grace gave space for the best in them to shine through.
It’s rare that someone does wrong and feels no remorse. We call those people sociopaths, and the reason we have a name for them is that they’re not the norm. Most people feel bad when they fall short morally. Showing forgiveness gives them permission to be a better version of themselves. Just like accepting God’s forgiveness gave me permission to be a better version of myself.
I forgive because I am forgiven. It’s cyclical, beautiful and redeeming. My gift to others is a gift to me.
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Collosians 3:13 NLT
Until next time….
XoXo,
Faith
Are you a grudge holder? What do you gain by holding a grudge? Do you view forgiveness as weakness? Sometimes you can forgive someone and still choose to discontinue the relationship; how do you decide what path your forgiveness will take in each situation? Have you ever been forgiven for something? How did you feel knowing that other person didn’t hold it against you?
Read other Confessions of Faith here!
Photo credit: Celestine Chua / Photo / CC BY
Faith Simone 
Good Morning and thank you, Faith for sharing this much needed reminder message. I will readily admit that I need a few more lessons in forgiveness. It comes very hard to me. Why? Because I give people SO many chances that when I have had enough most folks would have written the person off years before.
Granted, this is my EXCUSE for not forgiving willingly but it is what I’ve experienced. So, reading your view on forgiveness is wonderful. I guess I must mature that much more! LOL.
Many, many thanks again.
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I totally get what you’re saying Rochelle! Forgiveness is easier said than done, and trust me it takes God to soften my heart and give me strength to let go of hurt. One thing I will say is that forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to turn a blind eye to person’s faults or ways. Sometimes forgiveness means not holding their actions against them, but still moving on or distancing yourself from them. Like Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” See them for who they are, pray for them, forgive them and kick rocks. The outcome of forgiveness can take many different forms.
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This is lovely! I should print it out and tape it to my bedroom mirror. An eternal message for sure, Faith.
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Thanks Kate! The act of forgiveness is something we can never be reminded of enough.
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lol@hold a grudge until it hollered. I’m not a grudge holder, thankfully. This is such a great lesson. I personally know some people who haven’t been able to forgive and it eats them up inside. In some cases, for years.
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It makes me sad now to think of how I used to be, and to see people still holding on to things that they should have let go years ago. I just want to bust out in my Erykah Badu impression and sing, “Bag lady, you gone hurt yourself carrying all them bags with you! So…pack light.” Plus, that junk messes with your looks and I have NO time for that.
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So beautifully written and the act of forgiveness truly is such an important lesson that everyone should encompass
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Thanks! It’s definitely a difficult but worthy lesson, because in the end the act of forgiveness comes full circle and becomes a gift to the giver.
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I really needed to read this.
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So well said. Thank you.
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[…] Standing in the light of my truth is the only way I can have a hope of guiding someone else into their’s. For me, that’s what it’s all about. My mantra for the last few years has been “Feel the fear, and do it anyway.” That’s what I strive to do every time I sit down to write. […]
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