What does a child, a quarter and a cheating man have in common? No, this is not a riddle or a dirty joke. It’s something to think about.
Since this is my blog and I can do what I want, I’ve decided to start posting some of the random thoughts I have on a variety of subjects. They won’t always be pretty, but I promise they’ll be one hundred percent real. I’m all about encouragement and inspiration, so today I’d like to talk to women that have had the unfortunate experience of being cheated on and/or left by a man. As in played for a fool. As in dumped. I told you it wouldn’t be pretty. It happened to me. I also told you I’d keep it real.
Having lived through the betrayal of an unfaithful spouse, I can personally identify with the feelings of low self-worth that come along with it. I know what it’s like to question your value as a woman when you’ve given the most sacred and beloved parts of yourself to someone who essentially treated you like rubbish at a yard sale. More than the pain that comes with having your heart broken by a stab in the back, is the lingering doubt about what you have to offer long after the bleeding stops and the wounds heal.
It took me while, but I got over it and fell in love. With myself, that is. I had to treat myself with tenderness. I had to remember my own individual dreams and goals. I had to show myself that life does indeed go on. Somewhere in the process of nurturing me, I started to celebrate me as well. The two go hand in hand. My self-esteem increased and so did my standards. I surrounded myself with people who love and celebrate me.
Which leads me to the scenario I thought of as I ate lunch under the shade of an oak tree yesterday. If you give a young child a choice between a shiny new quarter and a crisp one hundred-dollar bill, the child will most likely choose the quarter every time. They see it as sparkling and holding weight. It glimmers and beckons to them. They have no idea that the one hundred-dollar bill is of far greater value. They’ll happily collect dozens of quarters and ignorantly shun the bill. Anyone observing would probably smile ruefully and shake their head. After all, it’s just a child and he doesn’t know any better. What they wouldn’t do was get angry at the child or start questioning the value of the bill themselves.
The same is true of a good woman. She holds her value whether other’s recognize it or not. If a woman is the crisp one hundred-dollar bill and a cheating man is the child, why should she question her value simply because he didn’t see it? Why should she allow herself to become bitter and angry? For all intents and purposes he is just an ignorant child playing with quarters, unable to see that they are of little value. Distracted by pretty packaging without the desire or where with all to look deeper. And while he’s busy playing with quarters, a man will come along that knows the value of what the child overlooked. He’ll be a man that appreciates the finer things in life and fully understands the responsibilities that go along with having them.
Ladies if you’ve been overlooked by a child playing games with shiny things, don’t despair. You’re still worth being faithful to. You’re still desirable. You’re still valuable. You still matter.
XOXO,
Faith
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.—1 Cor. 13:11 NIV
Photo credit: korafotomorgana / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)
Faith, girl, you got me in the Amen corner over here. Chuch! I mean, really, this is perfectly stated and so many women can relate to this. Please save some of your gems for a nonfiction, inspirational book because I get the feeling that people would buy the book in droves. Going to tweet this, definitely!
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Thanks Quanie! I hadn’t ever thought about writing nonfiction, but it’s definitely something to consider. I really do love to encourage other people, especially women.
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I loved your analogy, Faith. Also, there’s always a silver lining. You are worth more than to be with a cheating man. 🙂
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Thanks Carol! I totally realize that now, and the silver lining is that being out of an unhealthy relationship allowed me to remember my dreams. 🙂
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Faith, that analogy reminds me so much of the Shel Silverstein poem “Smart.” http://www.marketplace.org/topics/life/poetry-project/poem-smart-shel-silverstein I’m glad you learned your worth, Faith xo.
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Ha-Ha Luanne! Very clever poem. Some people just don’t have a good sense of value. Thankfully, I’m no longer one of those people!
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Betrayal is one of the hardest things to deal with. Sorry it happened to you, and I’m glad that you learned your value isn’t dependent on the point of view of cheaters.
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Thanks Tracy! Yeah, betrayal is horrible to deal with, but despite the process I like who I’ve become. And that’s worth the pain.
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Pain makes us grow; if it doesn’t kill us.
I’m happy that yours made you like who you’ve become. It might have been otherwise.
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Beautiful! I’m definitely tweeting that. 🙂
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I’m trying to figure out how Twitter works and whether it’s worth my time. Follow me there and I’ll follow you. I’m hoping I can learn from you… 🙂
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Lol, it took me a while to figure it out myself! In fact, I’m still learning. But it’s a great way to connect with other writers and readers. I followed you!
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Great analogy, and good reminder. I think as a woman in today’s world, it can be difficult to remember our worth, especially without tying it to something or someone else.
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That’s so true Leigh. It’s like women are set up to believe that we have little to offer outside of our relationsips to others. The flip side of that is that men at set up to believe that their worth is tied to their bank account. But that’s a whole other blog post! Thanks for stopping by.
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[…] You all know how the story ended. He wants to start over, requesting my friendship if nothing else. He thinks that what happened can be delegated to a single chapter in the story of us. I don’t know if that’s true or not. I closed the book and placed it on a shelf. I put 450 miles between us and wished it were a continent. We haven’t laid eyes on each other in over a year and five months. […]
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[…] Hon, he’s obviously cheating. […]
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